Change · 2 min read
Why do changes of plan upset me so much?
A changed plan, and the cost of changing with it.
Think North Consulting research team · Published · reviewed
The short answer
A change of plan can upset you because the change is small but the adjustment is not: travel, care, preparation and other commitments may all hang on the original plan. People also differ in how much an open, unsettled plan bothers them. Naming exactly what the change touches, and asking for notice or a fairer share of the inconvenience, often helps more than trying to be more relaxed about it.
The appointment moves by half an hour. For one person, it is a minor correction. For another, it means rearranging travel, childcare, preparation and the entire sequence of a day.
The event may be small while the adjustment is large. Calling somebody inflexible misses the hidden dependencies.
What’s going on
Calmistry proposes two measures here. Stiffness is how strongly you hold to a plan once it is set, and how much it costs to move it. Ductility is whether strain shows gradually as changes pile up, or all at once after several.
- How much it takes to move youHow much it takes to move you: how strongly you hold to a set plan, route or expectation once it is in place, and how much changing it costs.
- How far you bend without breakingHow far you bend without breaking: whether strain shows gradually over days as you signal and adjust, or stays hidden until it suddenly comes out all at once.
What the research says
What published studies have found
People differ in how much uncertainty bothers them, and higher intolerance of uncertainty is linked with more worry and anxiety. Evidence: strong
What it does not show: Mostly questionnaire studies; they show a link, not a cause.
Carleton, Norton & Asmundson 2007, Fearing the unknown: a short version of the Intolerance of Uncertainty Scale (doi:10.1016/j.janxdis.2006.03.014); McEvoy et al. 2019, The impact of methodological and measurement factors on transdiagnostic associations with intolerance of uncertainty: a meta-analysis (doi:10.1016/j.cpr.2019.101778)
People who adjust their coping to the situation tend to adapt better to stressful life changes. Evidence: moderate
What it does not show: A meta-analysis of mostly correlational studies of larger life changes, not everyday schedule changes.
Cheng, Lau & Chan 2014, Coping flexibility and psychological adjustment to stressful life changes: a meta-analytic review (doi:10.1037/a0037913)
What Calmistry proposes (not yet tested)
Calmistry proposes stiffness (the cost of moving a set plan) and ductility (how strain shows as changes pile up) as separate measures. These are proposed constructs, and the questionnaire that explores them is not yet validated.
What nobody knows yet
Research has not shown whether a strong preference for settled plans is a cost, a strength or both; it probably depends on the situation and on who pays for the change.
How we know what we knowRead the evidence register
A useful response is not always to become more accepting. Sometimes it is to ask for adequate notice, a clear confirmation or a fairer way to share the inconvenience.
Flexibility has a cost. Seeing the cost gives you choices.
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The quiz is exploratory, not diagnostic. Calmistry’s measures are proposed ideas and the questionnaire is not yet validated, so treat what it shows as something to test against your own week, not a verdict.